50 Shades of Grey – there’s nothing grey about it.

Grey: 1. The series of neutral colours ranging between black and white. 2. Black mixed with white.

Immorality: 1. The quality of not being in accord with or adhering to ethical or moral standards or principles.

“Run from sexual sin! Shun immorality and all sexual looseness by fleeing from impurity of thought, word and deed. No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. The person who commits sexual immorality sins against their own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

“There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin…We must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever – the kind of sex that can never “become one”. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies – bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. ” 1 Corinthians 6:16-20 (The Message)

I love it when you read something that just stands out to you.

“Once drawn, lines are hard to erase.”

As soon as I read this, I felt the question pop into my mind: where do I draw the line on what is acceptable and pleasing to God and what is not?

If you enjoy reading as much as I do, there’s a chance you might have heard about a book called “50 Shades Of Grey”. You may have even read it.

This blog post is my opinion and I apologise if I offend you with my views. I DO NOT apologise if my views make you think about where you draw the lines in your life.

Written by British author E L James, “50 Shades of Grey” is the first book of the trilogy which tells the story of the relationship between a college graduate called Anastasia Steele and a young businessman by the name of Christian Grey. In the book, virgin Anastasia is required to sign a contract that allows Grey to have complete control of her life. Grey admits that he is a sexual deviant who likes to dominate women into submission.

The reason this book has become so popular and has captivated so many women, being described as “Mummy Porn”, is that, according to Wikipedia, the “kinky nature” of the novel draws readers in, allowing them “freedom to explore new things sexually with their partners”.

Until I started researching for this blog post, I didn’t know what “BDSM” is. It apparently stands for bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism. I don’t even know what some of these words mean. And I don’t want to know.

As a woman of faith in God, striving to live in a closer relationship with Jesus Christ, I can not and will not read this book.  I know the reviews are saying things like how “liberating” it is for women and for marriages (yes, even Christian marriages!), but I just don’t see it that way.

The way I see it, God created sex to be the joining of a man and a woman (ok, so I’ve probably offended someone else now), in the most intimate union possible.

Sex is NOT about a contract or partnership between two people defined by the infliction of pain, degradation and humiliation.

You know, I find the title of the book ironic because, in my opinion, there is nothing grey about it.

For me, this issue is black and white. It’s about good versus evil. There’s nothing grey about it.

For me, this issue is about whether or not I am going to draw the lines in such a place in my life that I adhere to a set of moral standards and principles called God’s Word. In time to come I don’t want to be in a position where I have to waste time, effort, energy tears, erasing lines that should never have been drawn where they were in the first place.

For me, this issue is about fleeing from impurities of word and thought and avoiding something that causes me to violate what God has made sacred.

For me, this issue is about questioning why I would want to read a book that makes me want more from my husband than I am currently receiving or that might cause me to look elsewhere for something I perceive I don’t have.

For me, this issue is about being alert and awake and on guard, with a sober mind, knowing that the enemy, (the devil, Satan or whatever else you might like to call him) is prowling around like a roaring line and sneaking around looking for someone to attack and devour.

In regards to this issue, it won’t be me.

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10 thoughts on “50 Shades of Grey – there’s nothing grey about it.

  1. I remember when I was much younger, 10-15, I loved to read Harlequin romance novels. I loved the idea of finding someone, getting through problems and hurts together and finding that forever someone. When I got older I picked up another one and about had a heart attack. My innocent books that I read as a young teen had become X rated smut. I haven’t picked one up again. They portray unreasonable expectation and sex outside of marriage. It’s a sad state. Shame on you Harlequin for buckling to the pressure.

    Thanks Nicki for making us aware of what this is about. I’ve just heard all the “buzz” with none of what the content is about.

    1. Catherine, thanks for taking the time to reply. I too used to read those sort of romance novels and I realise now how much expectation they place on women to have the same sorts of “relationships” as these fictional characters. No wonder men in our society don’t always feel like they measure up! Because sadly, some women imagine what the perfect man looks like and acts like all because of the books they have read – and the perfect man just doesn’t exist! (Although mine is pretty close!)
      Bless you. And thanks again for reading my blog.
      x

  2. Nicki I too thoroughly enjoy reading and I will be game enough to admit that I am one of your Christian friends who has read all 3 books of the 50 shades trilogy. But don’t judge me because I read it. I did not read this book to read about the so called “mummy porn” (which i found on most accounts quite disturbing) If you flick past all the sex there is a fairly good story line.
    Ana never signed the contract to become Mr Greys sub. She puts her foot down when he pushes her boundaries. She turns him on his head when he starts to fall in love with her. And she tries to teach him the true meaning of a relationship.. The 50 shades of grey refers to the disturbing layers of his past, previous partners, sexual abuse, drug addicted prostitute mother, foster care, being different.. which Ana helps him deal with. Sometimes relationships aren’t’ just black and white.
    The “kinky nature” of this book didn’t draw me in i suppose the hype did. It certainly didn’t spice up or change anything in the bedroom for me, i don’t want or expect more from my husband than i am currently receiving. if anything a book like this made me grateful for the kind, loving, gentle husband I do have, and appreciate the loving environment i was raised in.
    For me, my faith is stronger that this fiction, and curiosity in this case, didn’t kill the cat.

    1. Dearest Sarah,
      Thanks for your honesty.
      I hope you know that I would never judge you or anyone else for reading this book. My blog post is about ME and my reasons why I won’t read it because I know firsthand the damage the enemy can do in your thought life. There have been things I have read, movies I have watched and images that I have seen that will never leave me and I want to prevent others from having to deal with their thought lives when those thoughts come back at the most inappropriate of times.
      Perhaps the quote should be “once read, words can’t be erased”.
      Thanks for reading my blog and thanks for taking the time to reply.
      x

  3. Well said Nick….even from a feminist perspective…why would a woman not wanted to be treated like a princess. We all feel sick to our stomach if we are faced with abuse and humiliation..we don’t want it for ourselves or our daughters….so this book sounds like a major con.

  4. there is nothing liberating about this book,if you can get past the fact that is is poorly written ,has no story line and poor characterisation,it is actually very dark and disturbing.I am quite concerned that women are calling this book a romance novel.This is about physical,mental and sexual abuse .it begins with the male character being abused and than he in turn becoming the abuser.This is not love !!!! This is not even sex ,this novel is about abuse .I hope that those reading this novel do not feel the need to emulate its content as it will cause distress ,pain not love.

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