The exploder

Explosion: 1. A violent or destructive shattering or blowing apart of something. 2. An expansion in which energy is transmitted outwards, like a shock wave. 3. A sudden, often vehement outburst. 4. A violent bursting as a result of internal pressure.

“My dear beloved brothers and sisters, pay attention to what I say and understand this! Everyone should be quick to listen and hear, slow to speak, slow to take offense and slow to become angry. For a person’s anger doesn’t produce the kind of life God wants – it does not promote the righteousness that God wishes and requires.” (James 1:19-20)

Everyone remembers the Warner Bros television cartoon show with the Road Runner and Wile E Coyote. Every scene there was the tick, tick, ticking of the inevitable bomb, the fuse that always burned towards an eventual blow up (in Coyote’s face), and the various other methods (usually involving TNT explosives) to try to blow up the Road Runner! It was, without doubt, my favourite cartoon as a kid! I used to love the Road Runner’s “meep meep” as he foiled the Coyote’s explosive plans yet again!

Today I was at the receiving end of someone else’s explosive moment. Today someone lit the fuse and before I even had a chance to hear the tick, tick, tick, the explosion let rip – right in my face! And let me tell you, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I was rattled. The tears threatened to fall every time I thought about the confrontation that had occurred even hours later.

Today a woman became totally unglued and verbally abused me for the “attitude” I was supposedly demonstrating towards her.

For a moment, as I stood there, I was almost stunned. Was this woman seriously having a go at me?! Usually (I’m ashamed to admit) it’s the other way around. I’m the one that gets flustered, upset, angry and then explodes. And then later I cry and shame myself for not acting more patiently (Godly) in the heated moment.

As a nurse, for privacy reasons I can’t go into the details of what happened but the details aren’t important. What’s important is how this incident made me feel. And how it caused me to stop and consider how it must feel for other people when I become unglued and explode.

Until reading Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Unglued” I’m not sure I’ve EVER considered what it must feel like for other people when I explode and blow apart and transmit all my violent negative energy towards them. How must other people feel when I allow the fuse to ignite and spiral out of control towards them? What must it be like for other people when I explode in their face? How does that other person feel when they hear the tick, tick, tick and know what’s about to come next?

How sad that in all those unglued moments throughout my life I’ve never even considered how the other person must feel.

“Raw emotions won’t sit quietly awaiting further instructions. They’ll move – outward if we explode…”

Today’s experience was a perfect example of why I am doing this study – I realize now I don’t want to make others feel the way this person made me feel.

I know we all make mistakes. The Bible tells me that. James (James 3:2,7) says “if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way…(but) people can tame all kinds of animals but no-one can tame the tongue.”

No-one that is, except God.

So my prayer will be: “Set a guard over my mouth God and take control of what I say. Keep watch over the door of my lips” because I don’t want the internal pressure inside of me to build up to such a point that I explode. I don’t want to be that unglued explosive person any more.

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “The exploder

  1. Wow, the lessons God teaches us. Just another “chisel chip” to get to the masterpiece God designed you to be. Wonderful.

  2. I’m actually being in the study. But, your posts bring sadness and joy. I’ve been a real mess lately this book hits home in so many ways… Your blog does too. I read it everyday! My heart is sad but I know things will get better each day. I would like to say you are helping me. Thank you for your honesty and love for the Lord.

    1. Robin, I’m blessed beyond words by your comments. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling with a sad heart but I’m also so encouraged that you are doing this Unglued study and you are making imperfect progress towards true joy. Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment. I shall keep you in my prayers. God bless.

  3. Wow, nice visual! Thank you for sharing that. I had a similar experienc a while back which caused me to start the journey to change that about me. My progress has been very imperfect. This study has helped me see that any forward progress is a good thing. I will picture Wile cyote when explosions occur to help me recover sooner. Thank you!

    1. Debbi thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog and post a comment here. So glad the visual will be a great reminder for you next time you’re about to have an exploding moment!
      Thank God for imperfect progress…one day you and I might both stop exploding and make ‘friends’ with the Road Runners in our lives!
      God bless

  4. dito!! I so relate. And I have unfortunately allowed my “raw emotions” to affect my work life and lost my job. But, God is good and showing me many truths and his love and I praise him!

  5. Love this Nicki! Reading this reminded me of when someone completely lost it with me and I didn’t expect it at all. I appreciated the questions you now consider since reading the book about how other people have felt when you came unglued with them. It is not a nice feeling and one that I still feel sometimes when I see this person. I am praying for the Lord to completely heal me from these wounds so that I can minister to this lady better!

    1. Thanks Karla. I hope I remember the ‘other’ person EACH time I’m about to explode in the future.
      And I hope you find some healing and the grace from God to forgive this woman for exploding at you.
      Thanks so much for taking the time to comment.
      Love you
      Nicki

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s