Coming apart at the seams is not all bad

Unglued: (Relating to a person’s state of mind) 1. To become upset, disorganized or confused. 2. To lose emotional control. 3. To become unstuck. 4. To be broken. 5. To come apart at the seams.

I have come to the end of Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study of Lysa TerKeurst’s book “Unglued” and have highlighted and double-underlined what I believe is one of the best paragraphs in the whole book because of the freedom it offers!

“Coming unglued isn’t all bad. Just as a light switch that fails to come on when the switch is flipped may indicate a wiring problem, coming unglued may indicate a problem with our internal wiring.  OUTWARD EXPRESSIONS ARE INTERNAL INDICATORS. If our outward expressions are unglued, there’s some brokenness internally…Coming unglued isn’t all bad if it brings us to God.”

But there’s a condition.

It’s not enough for me to just say “sorry I exploded and spewed out on you but I was having an ‘unglued’ moment and I’ll get over it”. That’s a cop out! I must allow becoming unglued to cause me to identify my raw emotions and use these moments as opportunities to check out my internal wiring and examine and determine what the real issues are. Only then is becoming unglued really okay. As long as in my brokenness and confusion I apologise and then come humbly before God and pray “Lord, fix me and restore me,” then coming apart at the seams and becoming unglued isn’t all that bad.

The reality is, just reading a book (albeit a fantastic book) is not going to be enough to stop my unglued moments from occurring. Every day things will happen and I will lose patience, lose my self-control, lose my temper and then I will become unglued. Over and over. Again and again. But I have a choice to make. I can choose to move forward and take baby steps towards imperfect progress. I can choose not to continually come apart at the seams when something “bumps into my happy”.

So as I conclude the study of this book my prayer is that my unglued moments might be like windowpanes of clear glass that give me an honest peek into what is going on inside my soul. What might I find? Pride. Anger. Jealousy. Bitterness. Shame. Rejection. Regrets. Stress. Loneliness. Insecurity. Frustration. Tiredness. What other raw emotions have I not dealt with?

If things are ever going to get better in my life, I must acknowledge that which is at the foundation of my life fueling my unglued reactions. As Lysa says “we may not like what we see, but at least we’ll know what we’re dealing with.”

Honestly, I don’t really want to look. But I know I must. And I will. One raw emotion at a time.

Lysa, when you signed the front page of my book and we stood chatting around the pool at Melissa’s house one hot, muggy Monday afternoon, I had no idea what I was in for. If I ever have the chance to meet you again (when are you coming to Australia???!) I want to ask you, how and when did you get inside my head and take out all my stories?! I’m sure you must have read my journal (and I don’t even write a journal!) All I can say, from the bottom of my heart, is thank you for all that you have shown me. Thank you for the hope that you have offered. Thank you for the stories. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you that I don’t feel such a bad Mum after hearing how disorganized and chaotic your family life is. Thank you that I don’t feel like an idiot for saying I’m having a bad hair day when it rains just after I’ve straightened my hair. Thank you for having a husband that owns a Chick-fil-a restaurant because Melissa made me try eating chicken for breakfast at his restaurant! (Don’t tell her, but it was actually really good!) Thank you for helping me write a procedure manual and letting me know that it’s ok if the only thing I remember in the middle of “losing it” (again) is “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus”. Thank you for the stories about all the things that caused you to become unglued. Because they are my stories too. And if you can make imperfect progress, then so can I. God bless you. With love, Nicki


10 thoughts on “Coming apart at the seams is not all bad

  1. Nicki, you must spend hours writing and perfecting your blogs. They read like an edited short story. Thank you for allowing a glimpse into your life and for being obedient to God in sharing your story. All it takes is just that one simple step – one easy to pronounce word – something we are “trained” to do as little children – obedience. But it is oh so hard and scary. It tears at your soul and heart. And it is definitely something you have in common with Lysa.
    Love you to pieces mate!!!!!

    1. Catherine thank you so much…you always say the nicest things! You know you’re my Number 1 fan!
      As for taking a long time to write each blog – I try to get them written in an hour – otherwise I’d spend all day “perfecting” my words!
      Thanks for your thoughts on obedience…you’re spot on – that’s EXACTLY what I need to remember when it comes to making changes.
      Bless you abundantly.
      Love you to bits

  2. Great words Nickie! I have felt the same as I’ve read Unglued. Such a powerful book…so thankful God is using it in my life. And fun to read about Him doing the same in yours!!

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