Rejected: 1. Discarded. 2. Dropped. 3. Cast away. 4. Dismissed as being inadequate, inappropriate or not to someone’s taste or liking.
I experienced rejection this week.
I felt the pain of being cast away because I wasn’t what someone was looking for. I didn’t look right. I didn’t sound right. I wasn’t what they wanted. I was inadequate. I was rejected.
And it hurt.
More than just a little bit. More than just for a fleeting moment.
When I received the letter of rejection (“Dear Nicki, sorry, you’re not what we want”), all the memories of the past three years came flooding back to me. Memories of feeling as though God had forgotten me. Feeling as though God had rejected me. Feeling as though I wasn’t what God wanted. Feeling as though I wasn’t good enough. Godly enough. Young enough. Pretty enough. Skinny enough.
One letter was all it took to feel discouraged and disappointed all over again.
Not good enough.
And then I remembered the ninety-six rejection letters my husband received over a three year period of unemployment before he landed his current “perfect” job! [For writing purposes, I’d love to say he received ninety-nine rejection letters before being offered this job, but that would be too much of a poetic cliche!]
How could I feel so hurt and upset after just one rejection letter?!
- Ninety-six times Tim
readheard “you’re inadequate”.
- Ninety-six times Tim heard “you’re inappropriate”.
- Ninety-six times Tim heard “you’re not what we want”.
- Ninety-six times Tim heard “you’re not suitable”.
- Ninety-six times he was rejected.
And he never lost his faith and trust in God!
And here I was, upset over one!
- One rejection letter and I began to doubt myself.
- One rejection letter and I began to wonder if God could be trusted.
- One rejection letter and I’d convinced myself that perhaps I’m not really that good after all! At anything!
- One rejection letter and I felt as though I’d been attacked!
- One rejection letter and I was cut deep and hurting.
- One rejection letter and my self-esteem was threatened.
Thankfully I pulled myself together quickly (this time) and reminded myself that GOD has not rejected me, just as He did not reject Tim ninety-six times over the past three years.
Man might have rejected us, but God never did and He never will.
“For the Lord will not reject, cast off or leave His people. He will never walk away and abandon them without help.” (Psalm 94:14)
Thankfully I didn’t have to receive ninety-six letters to learn this lesson.