I am not abandoned

jeremiah 1-5Abandonment: 1. The act of giving something up. 2. To yield oneself completely emotionally. 3. To be cast off or deserted. 4. To be left behind. 5. To be forgotten 6. To be discarded.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child to which she gave birth from her womb? Yes, though she may forget, I (God) will not forget you! See, I have engraved your name (indelibly imprinted a picture of you) on the palms of My hands.” (Isaiah 49:15-16)

“I have called you by name; you are Mine.” (Isaiah 43:1)

In response to yesterday’s blog post where I wrote openly about my (lack of) relationship with my mother, many people have contacted me and shared similar heartbreaking stories of loss and abandonment. After reflecting on what I wrote, one important thing occurred to me and I want to share that today.

I am not abandoned.

My mother may have physically and emotionally ‘abandoned’ me but my God never abandoned me. My mother may not call me by my preferred name, but my God calls me by name. My mother may not appear to care for me, nor does she show her love towards me, but my God in heaven adores me. My mother may not reach out and touch me but my God has supernatural arms that reach out and wrap around me.

Since becoming a Christian when I was 17 God has taught me a lot about forgiveness and it is for this reason I have no hatred, anger, bitterness or animosity towards my mother. God gave me the grace to forgive her for hurting me then, and He continues to give me the grace to forgive her each time I reach out and get rejected or each time I see her and get nothing back from her. God has enabled me to rise about this situation and see it for what it is.

It.is.not.my.problem.

I thank God that He is re-writing my story and helping stop the cycle of brokenness that has been handed onto me from my broken and hurting mother. God has over-ridden imperfect parenting, freed my wounded heart and is now helping me change the future for the next generation. God’s love for me has far outweighed any feelings of abandonment or rejection from my mother. God is not like an earthly parent who goes ‘missing’ either physically or emotionally when things get difficult. Though a mother may forget the child she has borne, God never forgets or abandons or rejects the child He has made. He doesn’t push me to the side or discard me when He gets busy with someone else. He doesn’t get bored with me. In fact, He takes delight in me and rejoices over me with singing! (Zephaniah 3:17)

My God calls me by name and I am His.

He loves me.

Author Beth Redman (and wife of worship leader Matt Redman) writes “God in heaven knows who we are right down to the final detail. God knows how you work, how you think, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. He knows the last time you cried, and what you cried about. He knows what you would like for your birthday and He actually cares about it too! The amazing thing is you don’t actually have to tell Him all of this. He just knows, because He made you, He sees, you, He hears you, and He loves you. He knows what you need before a words is even spoken from your mouth or articulated in your heart.”

With a God that knows me this well and adores me this much, it’s no wonder I’ve never felt abandoned.

{Shared as part of “Hear it on Sunday, Use it on Monday“}

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3 thoughts on “I am not abandoned

  1. Nicki, as always, I love what you’ve written. You see into the heart of a matter and I know that is because you hear the voice of God. I too can look back on the days of being abandoned or feeling abandoned without any bitterness, because God took it all away. He loves me and that is more than enough for me.

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