I am not perfect

perfect scorePerfect: 1. Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics. 2. Being as good as it is possible to be.

“And He said to me, My grace (My favor and loving-kindness and mercy) is enough for you. For My strength and power are made perfect (fulfilled and completed) and show themselves most effective in your weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses and infirmities, so that the strength and power of Christ may rest and dwell upon me!” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I don’t want to shock you and I hope you’re sitting down to read this. I am not Superwoman.

Sorry if this comes as a bit of a surprise but it’s time I stood up and let the world know something: I.Am.Not.Perfect.

And it’s time I stop pretending that I am.

I mean have you actually read any of my Facebook status updates or seen any of my Instagram pictures lately!?

Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t fabricated events for the sake of gaining “likes” and comments on social media platforms but what I am guilty of (as my social-media-despising husband tells me) is making my life appear to be something other than what it really is. I post photos and I share updates that make me out to be something that I’m not. Perfect. Glamorous. Godly. Losing Weight. A great cook (ok everyone who knows me knows that that one is a lie!). Always running. Always having a good time. Smart. More busy than a one-legged tap dancer (that’s one of my hubby’s bad jokes sorry!). I write comments and post pictures that exemplify the life I wished I lived rather than the reality of the one I do live. (The one I’m called to live.)

And I’m not the only person guilty of doing this.

Around this time every year, you can upload something called “Year in Review” on Facebook which shows a collection of your biggest moments from this year, including life events, popular posts you’ve shared and posts your friends have tagged you in.

So my year in review looks something like this:

15th February – 21 years ago we said “I do”!  It’s been an incredible journey and I love this man with all of me. #love

25th February – I’m the most proud Mum ever! Zach Edwards was appointed as the 2013 Christian College Middle School Captain!

16th April – just ran 15ks – first time in ages! Can’t wait to get back out there again tomorrow. #motivated

5th May – Hanging out with hubby today café crawling. There’s nothing in the world I enjoy more. #happy.

3rd June – Exam passed and I am over half way to achieving my Grad Certificate in Intensive Care. Huge thanks to everyone for encouraging and supporting me.

1st July – Just had over 300 views on one of my blog posts! #daytodaytrustinggod #blownaway

15th August –  So blessed to have such amazing friends. Thanks to an incredible group of women from around the world who lift me up in prayer and provide support and encouragement to me. #blessedwithfriends

10th September – Happy Birthday to me – enjoying an amazing dinner out with family and feeling the love.

15th October – Best news! We can get a dog!

3rd November – Best news! We got a dog! Meet Molly!

25th November – Final results are in….Grad Certificate in Intensive Care finished and passed….less than I hoped for but better than I expected. #nomorestudy

4th December – Tonight’s menu: homemade pizza base with fresh garlic-infused tomato sauce, red onion, sweet potato, chili-crusted rare roast beef, sun-dried tomatoes, spinach leaves and fetta cheese. #anothercookingsuccess

What I’m really trying to say is “look at me, look at us”. We’re so happy. Life is so good. Don’t you wish you had a life like mine?

Whilst each of these moments in time is true – I haven’t made them up – they don’t really give you the full picture. Because, like everyone else, every day in between these great moments there are many more moments and days where I stuff up. Days when I’d prefer to hide. Days when I’m ridiculously stressed. Days when my husband and kids annoy me. Days when I eat too much. Days when I’m depressed. Sad. Frustrated. Angry. Days when I don’t trust God. When I don’t feel like going out for a run. When I haven’t got words to write. Days and days of blah moments not worth sharing.

After all, who wants to read negativity.

So, instead I write about all the great moments so that you’d never know that I’m not perfect. Or that I screw up (regularly). That I have a temper. That I can’t control my weight because I can’t say no to eating blocks of chocolate. Every day. You wouldn’t know those things because here I am, putting on my happy face and sharing how wonderful my world is.

So rather than tell you all the real stuff which is downright boring, I sell myself as being something that I’m not. And it’s time to stop.

It’s time to get real.
It’s time to stop lying.

It’s time to stop trying to convince myself that I have a perfect, dazzling, happy, successful life. Because I know myself well. And sadly, the truth is often a far cry from the image I portray. And this saddens me. It saddens me when I think that perhaps others perceive me as being someone that I am not.

I read a blog post this week that asks this very important question: “Why do we treat social media as an enormous public relations campaign for our lives?” It’s a great question. And it makes me realise that I am guilty of using social media platforms and presenting a YouTube version of my life where I have edited out the bad moments, the bloopers, the stuff ups and the faith-less days.

What happens then is I end up backed into a corner where it becomes more difficult to admit that the real version of my life is vastly different to the one I am promoting. The problem with that is that when I do need help, I don’t feel like I can ask for it without admitting that my life is a bit of a fraud. The other problem, and this is an even bigger issue I think, is that my supposedly perfect life might get compared with someone else’s life by someone who is really doing it tough. Just as I smile and post about my awesome life, it might cause others who feel lost and alone to believe that they just don’t quite measure up. Oh Lord, I don’t want anyone to measure themselves against me and put themselves down because I know only too well the problem that comes with playing the comparison game. I’ve been on that merry-go-round many times.

So I’m committing to being just as transparent as ever but telling things the way it is – as daunting as that may be. Here’s the truth. I am not perfect. I am not superwoman. I never will be. And I don’t even want to be.

Do you know someone who would be encouraged by this post? Then I would love you to share it! If you like it, please “like” it or leave me a comment here or on Facebook. I cherish your words. Also, if you like what I have to say, you can sign up via email so that you never miss a post. Thanks for reading and “following” me as I journey day to day trusting God. It truly blesses me.

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